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"Brilliant advice, thank you, you've
help turn my life around!"
Why would you choose an Agony
Aunt to help and advise you with your problem?
An Agony Aunt is someone impartial
from you and your situation, an Agony Aunt is
nonjudgemental, but honest and truthful.
by using an Agony Aunt you have nothing
now and take control of your life!
Agony Aunt Ask Phoebe is the Agony Aunt
you have been looking for, her advice to any
problem is invaluable, based on her own life
experiences, she is straight talking and will
not just tell you what you want to hear!
An Agony Aunt is........
Your friend your companion,
through good times and bad
Agony Aunts offer help and advice
through happy and sad.
No problem is too big or too small
Agony Aunt Ask Phoebe will be your
friend through it all.
Phoebe offers advice on:-
Relationship advice
Marriage advice
Health advice
Sex advice
Addiction advice
Bullying advice
Advice on abuse
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On this page I wanted to give you a glimpse of me and who I am
I'm Phoebe and I'm 39 years old, (help I'm nearly 40!) I've recently remarried, and he's the most wonderful amazing man,
and between us we have four fabulous children, two of which are fifteen year old teenagers! For the first time in my life
I am truly happy, we have our normal ups and downs that go with every day family life but I know that the bond we
share will enable us to overcome any obstacle.
THAT'S MY HAPPY ENDING, NOW READ MY HELL!
As a child
My younger sister and I were born to parents who "enjoyed a drink", my biological father was by all accounts an alcoholic,
we lived on a council flat estate, you know the type, they were all the rage in the 1960's, I've seen old photograph's and the flats are
still there to this day, but I was only very young and don't really have many memories, one memory I do have though is of my Mum
hitting my Dad over the head with a glass pop bottle and my Dad pushing my Mum down the stairs! Hence my Mum had an affair
(she met him in the pub) and we left to live on another notorious council flat estate with our new stepfather! And yes, as your probably
already imagining, there was more violence, more drinking, loud parties, sexual abuse, on me though, not my sister, as the oldest
I seemed to cop for the lot! My sister and I were often left to fend for ourselves, but even at such a young age I welcomed this as it
meant that we would be free of the fear of the abuse and the violence, unless there was a knock at the door, then we would be
hiding with bated breath imagining big men in suits wanting to take us away!
As a teenager
I never told anyone about the things that went on at home, and so inevitably in my teenage years I rebelled, doing drugs,
drinking, staying out all night, you get the picture. At seventeen I left home to live with a lad seven years my senior, and
so the cycle continued, violence, drugs, abuse, was I ever going to have a normal life?! After plucking up the courage to leave him
I threw myself straight into another relationship with someone who was quite the opposite, very relaxed, hardly drank, wasn't
possessive, finally I thought, I can live a normal life! The one thing he was adamant about though was that he
wanted a baby, I was thrilled, I was determind that my child would never have to endure a childhood like mine, and I had my first child
when I was just turned twenty one, I felt safe for the first time in my whole life, I had a gorgeous son and a partner that
wasn't abusive, I was happy!
Early twenties
What's that saying about not taking things for granted? Well it all had to be too good to be
true didn't it?! When our son was two years old I was invited on a night out with friends, it was a rare occasion, with
having very little money to have the opportunity for a night out, so I was excited and extremely looking forward to it.
Whilst out I became unwell resulting in me heading home earlier than planned, just typical, or maybe it was fate, on arriving
home I had the shock of my life, my partner in bed with his best friend, and yes it was male! So that put an end to that relationship,
it was very difficult in the beginning, I was understandably very hurt and had many questions, but in hindsight I should have realized,
the signs were there that he was gay but I had just brushed them aside, burying my head in the sand! We are good friends ourselves
now and there isn't anything either of us would not do for our son, and the incident gave him the confidence to be honest and open about his sexuality.
First Marriage
This is when in a vulnerable state, I met my first husband. Everything seemed great at first, he could be a little moody and
quite often very ignorant of my son, but I just put this down to not really knowing how to behave with young children.
We married after six month and that was when the aggression really began to kick in, not just with me but my son
too. He was a very controlling man who would do or say anything to achieve his goal of constant control over us both,
on many occassions he would take my purse and car keys, leaving my Son and I for days on end, but would then come back
stating how sorry he was and how much he loved me, but of course it was always my fault in the first place! After
consuming alcohol a switch in his head would just flick and he was ten times more nasty and aggressive, usually for
no apparent reason too, and there would be nothing I could do to pacify him. I was trapped, he said he would never
leave me and if I left him he would track me down with serious consequences. I stayed in that relationship for ten
years, I had another son, a miscarriage, a termination, and plenty of visits to accident and emergency throughout
that period, and apart from my youngest son it was the biggest mistake of my life. I eventually, with help from
family and friends, left him, but emotionally I was a mess and my confidence and self esteem were at an all
time low, and my financial situation was diabolical! Without the constant worry of being in his presence though I soon
returned to my old self and that is when I began working for the local newspaper as their Agony Aunt, and I saw
my husband for the coward and the bully that he really was, I began divorce proceedings and never looked back!
Me now
  
I truly believe that there is an happy ending for everyone, no matter what circumstances and predicaments we find
ourselves in, it's how we overcome these situations and the decisions we make that determines the outcome,
nothing is impossible, make a decision now, take control and live your life! Email Phoebe
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